Monday, March 23, 2009

Things I Like

Babies "need" a lot of stuff, or more accurately, Mom's need a lot of stuff to help them with babies. I agonized over the long list of things that people told me I HAD to have to help us with our new baby. One thing I'm really glad we got: the swing. It's one of the few places she'll sit that isn't on me. So I thought I'd upload a video of the swing just to see how the uploading video process works...

Thursday, March 19, 2009

Ela's first OSC Outings

Back when I first arrived in Sasebo, my first ever OSC event was tomato picking on Oshima Island. I seriously considered not going because it was a really wet, nasty day. Upon arriving, I discovered the tomatos were in greenhouses and was very glad I had come along. They were, by the way, the very best tomatos EVER. So when the OSC invitation to go tomato picking came out this time, I knew I wanted to go, but wasn't sure I should with a child who wasn't yet two weeks old. It seemed like quite an undertaking. Luckily, Mom's here, and she said we should do it. Mom knows best! So we caravaned with a few other families out to Oshima Island and found the greenhouses on a much nicer day:

Mom picked the tomatos...

Ela and I looked for good ones to pick... okay, Ela didn't really look very hard...


After that, we all went for a nice lunch at a nearby hotel, then Mom and I struck out on our own for a park in the center of the island that turned out to have a lovely view from this lookout tower....


Ela slept through most of the trip and chose really convienent times to eat, so we deemed her first event a great success. The tomatos were again excellent. I'll be enjoying them for a few more days yet.

Then today OSC did a recycle shop trip. This one I really really wouldn't have done without Mom, but with her, it was a must. Recycle shopping, for those of you who don't know, is like thrift shopping in Japan. People donate the stuff they don't want anymore, and these shops sell the stuff. Only since this is stuff they would throw away otherwise, they call it recycling. You can get a lot of neat Japanese stuff for relatively good prices if you know where the recycle shops are. Today, we stopped by six of them, and found some nice things to add to our collections. We didn't, however, take pictures. Ela took the whole thing very well. She was awake for the first stop, then fell asleep and only woke up to be fed occasionally throughout the day. Another very successful event. So now when Mom goes home, hopefully I won't be too wussy to take Ela out on my own. It will be a lot more work, though...

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Monday, March 16, 2009

Ela's Passport

One of the challenges of having a baby outside of the US is getting her citizenship made all nice and official. As military in Japan, the process goes something like this: First, the doctor gives you an application for the Japanese birth certificate (both in English and Japanese). You take that to city hall, along with your marriage certificate and passports, and they give you a Japanese birth certificate (in English and Japanese). You take that, along with several forms, passports, and two passport pictures of the baby to an office on base, where they mail it to the powers that be in Tokyo and get you a form aknowledging the birth of an American child in a foreign country.
Yes, that's right, we needed passport photos of a child who is only a week or two old. Without them, we can't get her passport or social security number, and it'll take several months after you get them taken to get the passport in question. So how do you get these pictures? When we started, we had no idea. All we knew were the requirements for the final product: Only Ela's head in the picture, no other people, a white background, and her eyes have to be open. Remember: Ela is one week old. She can't hold up her own head, much less sit, and her eyes are open 3 minutes in the average hour. So we had a challenge ahead of us.
At first, we thought we were required to use the photo booth on base that makes passport pictures. This was a total disaster. We went through the process twice, with me, covered in a blanket, holding a screaming Ela up to the right level and hoping her eyes would open for a second for the picture. The result is two sets of pictures of a screaming child and my chin. We decided we'd spent enough money on a lost cause and took these back to the office that sends the stuff to Tokyo. They said neither would work, but that we could use a digital camera at home and then cut the pictures to the right size. They even gave us a little passport photo template so we could measure it out... Note to the office: why wouldn't you give that to parents the first time around? :::sigh:::
The next 24ish hours were spent anxiously watching Ela for moments when her eyes were open, then quickly laying her on a white blanket and snapping lots and lots of pictures. The results ranged from funny to cute to crazy. One didn't even have Ela in it: she wiggled away or the camera moved, who knows. I know the point of digital is you can delete the ones you don't want, but who wouldn't want these:



Two big concerns gradually arose: 1) would the quilting on the one blanket make it not a "white background" and 2) would it be bad if her hands (which are always near her face) got in the picture. So we settled on this picture as our choice to submit:

Not the cutest one we took, but it passed the test when we took it in, and now it's on its way to Tokyo with the rest of the paperwork. Check that off the list! Now that it's done, I'm told she can use that same passport and picture until she's ten. Clearly the passport people have their priorties right here... or not...
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On Epidurals

This post is dedicated to Danielle. :-) In a comment, she asked me about the whole not having an epidural thing. I gotta say I'm not sure I'm qualified to really comment, having no basis for comparison, but I'll throw some thoughts out there. I hesitate to do so because I've seen some really strong opinions in the articles I read during pregnancy, and I don't want anyone to think that I'm telling them the "right way" to do things. So, just remember if you're reading: this is just my opinion and you are, of course, entitled to disagree. :-)
One of the first moments of feeling overwhelmed I had with my pregnancy was reading about "choosing a doctor" in the baby books. From the start, I was really glad that this was not an option for me. As someone who generally takes a medical condition to the doctor and then does what the doctor says about it, the idea of forming a birth philosophy and then finding a doctor with the same birth philosophy was absolutely terrifying to me. How, exactly, was I supposed to know how I felt about things like pain medication, birthing positions, and what not until I had actually been in labor? I think what the books are really trying to say is don't just assume that any doctor is the right doctor for you, not "go in with a 100% idea of what you want and then find someone who will do it for you." But to start off, it was scary. So I was relieved that I just would have to live with Dr. Higashijima, who (by the way) turned out to be very much in agreement with what I would have wanted anyhow.
That was way back in month 1-2 of the pregnancy before I'd spent hours and hours reading pregnancy books, internet articles and birth stories (which seem to tend to be from really eccentric people if you search for them online). By the time I got to actual labor, I can't say that I knew for sure what I wanted, but I had a much better idea. And part of that idea was that I probably didn't want an epidural. Here's why (in order of importance):
1) I'm scared of needles. The idea of someone sticking a needle into my spine was about a million times scarier than labor pains (which I had never experienced but didn't involve needles). I recognized that this opinion could easily change, and if it did, I was willing to go the epidural route, but for the time being, that was it.
2) I had heard about as many epidural horror stories as stories about women who were happy with it. (I'm only counting first hand from women I knew stories, not the crazy people online.) These ranged from mild dissatisfaction (ie: "I couldn't feel and that made it harder to push") to serious issues (ie: "the needle was inserted wrong, I leaked spinal fluid and had a severe headache for several days afterwards as a result.") Why exactly, would I overcome my fear of needles for something that I might not especially like when the time came, either?
3) Dr. Higashijima's epidurals are not American epidurals. He calls them 70% strength. American women note that you can still walk with these Japanese epidurals and wonder if it might not be more like 50%. If someone's going to stick a needle in my spine, I want it to really make a difference in how much pain I'm feeling.
4) Drugs in general have always had really funky effects on me. Any medication that says "might cause drowsiness" is likely to knock me out cold. Because I know that medication reacts that way with me, I tend to avoid it when I can. It's easier sometimes to deal with pain than with the side effects of the medication.
In addition to these four reasons not to have an epidural, I'd read countless articles talking about the many reasons not to have one ranging from the effect it has on the baby to the fact that women who have epidurals tend to have longer labor. I didn't worry much about these because I'd also read countless articles about why an epidural is sometimes the better choice. So while I went into labor with a plan to not have an epidural, I was by no means against it if the situation required. If the doctor had said "Look, you're tired and you're not going to have any strength left to push, let me give you an epidural to help you rest now." I probably would have been okay with that. Similarly, if I had been in more pain earlier in the labor process, I totally would have gone the epidural route.
The nurses advised me that the best time to ask for the epidural is at 4-5 cm dilated. At that point in my labor, I was not in enough pain to feel justified in asking for an aspirin, much less a needle to the spine, so when the doctor asked me, I refused. He was delighted, since he prefers the more natural way of doing things by and large. He asked again several times over the course of my labor, but the first time I would have been tempted was during transition, and I knew that I wanted to be able to feel to push in hopes of making that part go more quickly. My thought was "it'll be over soon, I can make it a bit longer". So the result was that I didn't end up with one. If I were to do it all over again, I wouldn't change my choice in the slightest. Does labor hurt? Yes. But in my case, it didn't hurt so badly that I felt the need for medication.
That said, I also firmly believe that ever labor and every situation is different. Reading all the stuff online, I found that there are those out there who would make women feel guilty or weak for having medication. I am not one of those people. I'm sure some women have more pain during labor than I did. I'm also sure that there are situations where an epidural really is the best choice. Finding fault with the women who get them is just a bit crazy in my mind. I am glad that I made the choice I did, but may be next time I won't feel the same way. Who knows. I'm just glad that there are options out there so that women can get the best birth experience possible for them.

Thursday, March 12, 2009

The Higashijima Experience

Having given birth in a private clinic in Japan, I'm convinced I will never be satisfied anywhere else. They totally spoil you. Even with the lack of room that first night, I felt like we had it really good. Our third morning in the clinic, the morning after Ela was born, was spent primarily outside the nursery looking at all the babies, since we couldn't bring Ela to our room until we had a real room. Aside from the five from the day before, and Ela, there was at least one more born in the early morning, so there was plenty to see:

They brought Ela out into the hall for us to hold her, and finally a room on that floor opened up and we moved in. This was one of the tiny rooms I mentioned in the previous post:

Ela and I stayed there for the next day. Mom hung out with us. We rested, ate, practiced feeding, and generally just relaxed. Zack came and went. He had a short time in Sasebo before he'd have to join his ship, so he was trying desparately to accomplish as much of the paperwork as possible to get Ela her passport and social security. The room was small, so it was better to have one visitor at a time anyway.
The next day, we spent the morning in that same room. That morning, I was given responsibility for tracking my health and Ela's. They had already given me a pink envelope with medicines for me to take daily, and now they also put me in charge of taking my temperature and Ela's 3 times a day, and writing down how often and how long she ate, as well as how many times a day she dirtied her diapers. The little chart was actually useful in helping me keept track of things as we got used to breastfeeding. Ela was a good eater from the start, but she's still hard to wake up if she wants to sleep through a meal.
I got another shampoo from the shampoo lady since it was Friday, and when I got back, the nurses were gathering our stuff to move us to the post-labor room that had become available. Whenever we switched rooms, the nurses insisted on carrying EVERYTHING (and we had a lot of stuff), not letting Mom or Zack so much as hold a pillow. So by afternoon on Friday, we were here:

The room was bigger, with a couch, chair and desk, so it was much more comfortable. AND I got a shower, which was a major relief. It's amazing what a simple thing like bathing can do for my perceptions of life. So Zack continued to run around with the various paperwork we needed, and Mom hung out with me and Ela in the room. More relaxation ensued.
But probably the best thing about staying at the clinic was the food. Every single meal came with enough dishes to feed me and one of my visitors easy. To make life easy on the cooking staff, I had told them that I was okay with Japanese food (if you request it, they'll give you American stuff, but who wants that?). The breakfast was generally a little too Japanese for me (whole bonito fish first thing in the morning is beyond my ability to stomach), but lunch and dinner were always excellent, and I got two snacks a day too... Here's a picture of my last dinner:



And, since it was my last night, they added one dish to what is normally served:


Yes, that really is lobster. Try getting that in an American hospital!

Anyway, since we were now in a bigger room, Zack stayed with Ela and me at the clinic Friday night, having successfully gotten everything done he could do before the Japanese Birth Certificate was ready. Saturday morning, they came to give Ela one last bath (this was a daily process). They also removed her umbilical stump and returned with a whole bunch of gifts for us: diapers, wipes, Ela's footprints that they had stamped, her umbilical stump (that's a Japanese thing, they hang onto it), a bib, some burp cloths, and a CD of her first cry! The doctor had taken some blood from me and found me to be waaaaay low on iron, so he gave me a shot of iron in the morning and sent me home with more vitamins and iron to take at home. He also showed us how to take care of Ela's belly button. Around 2 in the afternoon, after one last excellent lunch, we were ready to go. The nurses took the picture that I'm using as my profile picture until I load up a good one of all three of us. It'll hang on a special bulletin board in the clinic for awhile. Then the doctor and two of the nurses personally escorted us to the car, the nurses carrying all our stuff as usual:


The nurses helped us get out onto the road, and before we knew it, we were home and introducing Ela to Dory (who loved her from the start). It was seriously a really great stay.
So now we're home and adjusting to the new routine, which seems to change daily. We'll keep you posted with new pictures and stories!



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Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Ela's Birth Story

Clearly, we've been a little busy over the past week, what with the arrival of our daughter. :-) We've been trying to send out pictures and information little by little, and here's the longer version of the story.
Ela's due date was March 3rd, which is also Girl's Day in Japan. Everyone thought it would be SO perfect if she came on that day. She took the hint apparently, and I started having regular contractions around 3:30 on that day. I wasn't really concerned; I'd been having some mild contractions every afternoon or evening all week. I played some Tetris with Mom for about an hour to see what would happen. Then, just to be sure, we took a walk around the park near the house (I didn't want to go too far in case they actually got stronger). Then I packed up some stuff for the clinic and called in. The nurse said that we should come in, but I was still not convinced they'd keep me. So, feeling rather foolish, we packed up the car and headed out. When we got there, we realized that we had forgotten the blue book I am supposed to keep where the doctor records all the vital information from the pregnancy, so Zack had to drive home to get it. Meanwhile, they sent me up to be checked out.
Doctor Higashijima informed me that I was having regular, weak contractions and I was 1-2 cm dilated, and that there was a problem. "It's my problem, not yours." He said. He then explained that in the last 24 hours, 5 babies had been born at the clinic. In all, there were 11 babies (I think) and mothers in the clinic. Since this is a small, private clinic, they were out of rooms. Considering the fact that I hadn't really progressed very far, this only confirmed my suspicion that I'd be going home again.
The doctor, however, wanted me to stay. He offered to put me in a room that is usually used as a room for "Mother Exercise Classes". He said that he thought I'd have the baby in the early hours of the morning (which now makes me laugh) and that they'd have an open room for me to move into on the 5th. I wouldn't have my own bathroom in the meantime, and even on the 5th, I wouldn't have a shower, so he was very apologetic. I said that it would be fine and reported back to Mom and Zack, who had arrived. So we settled into this room:

It was way bigger than the normal rooms, and therefore really very comfortable for us in the long run. By the end of the evening, they had gotten us two cots and a mat for sleeping. We sat around, played some cards, read, and tracked contractions, which stayed regular and didn't really get any stronger. They brought me a super dinner, and Zack and Mom got themselves food somehow (though, now I can't remember how), and just before bedtime, I was sent up to the labor room again for another check. Much to my own surprise, I was now at 4 cm! I had a burst of optimism: I might actually have the baby in the night. (Insert more laughter here.)
After that check, I was given a lovely pink robe thingy (which you see in some of the other pictures later) to wear for the duration of labor and I settled in for some sleep. I actually slept pretty well all night, waking up with the contractions only occasionally. The next morning, I was sent up again for another check: still 4 cm. :::sigh:::
I, however, was starting to feel less good, so I picked at the incredible breakfast they brought. (The nurse advised me to eat little if I wasn't feeling like it.) While I was trying to eat, the doctor called our room to tell us that I was still having "weak labor", so he wanted to start me on a pill form of pitocin to try to speed things up and avoid a super long labor. Apparently, the pill version is weaker than the IV version, and he just wanted to get things going. Dr. Higashijima is veeeeeery anti-c-section, and he was pretty sure I had a big baby coming, so I think his plan was to try to shorten the process to avoid the chance of having to operate. So starting around 8:30, every hour a nurse came in with a pill and a glass of water. I'd feel nauseous for about half of the hour, and the contractions started coming just a tiny bit closer together. The clinic has a "shampoo lady" come in every Monday, Wednesday and Friday, and it was Wednesday, so the Doctor scheduled me a hair wash in anticipation of several days without a shower. So while I was in labor, a nice Japanese lady took me to the shampoo room and carefully washed, conditioned and dried my hair, even asking me how I wanted it parted. :-) It was a nice touch, though the contractions felt worse when I was on my back.
At noon, I once again went up for a check: 6 cm. Progress... To speed things up more, the doctor broke my water. He warned me that this, combined with the continued pitocin, would make the contractions stronger. He was right. I could tell the difference almost immediately. I got a little nervous when Zack went out to get some lunch for him and Mom (my lunch looked excellent again, but this time I didn't eat anything but some pineapple). By the time he got back, I was well on my way to transition.
This is where I was really happy that there were no rooms in the clinic. I'd seen the rooms where women are usually when they labor: they're tiny. There's room to walk 3 steps total in those normal rooms, and I was pacing like crazy. It helped me soooo much to be able to walk around, and if we had been in any other room, it just wouldn't have worked. The doctor came down to have a talk with us sometime between 1:00-2:00. He said that at 2:30, we'd go up for another check. If I was still at 6 cm, he was thinking I'd have to have a c-section. If I was at 7 or 8, he would let me continue to labor. This news did not bother me in the slightest. I was confident that I was already past 6. So I labored on for another hour or so and up to the labor room we went.
Sure enough, I was 9 cm dilated! Finally! The nurses wanted me to start "soft pushes" now, but my body was not cooperating in the labor chair that the doctor has all the women use, so the doctor brought in a rocking horse looking thing to try. That was even worse. So I'd lean backwards over the rocking chair between contractions and then stand up and try pushing a little during them. Around this time, they also gave me an IV, which they told me had glucose water in it since I'd been at it a long time. Though no one ever told me, I'm confident they put some drugs in there at some point because I felt more relaxed after that.
I'd lost track of time by now, but soon I was back up in the chair for serious pushing. I pushed for about an hour, according to Mom. The doctor ended up using a suction and he had a midwife push on my belly to help out at the end. Mom said it looked like she was doing CPR on my belly. Whatever it was, it worked, and at 4:30, Ela arrived!

Ela was a calm little girl from the start. She cried a little when she was born, but calmed down very quickly. After our first introduction, she was whisked away for the usual bathing and measuring. Daddy Zack went along and Mom got some excellent video. Ela didn't enjoy the bath, but was much happier as soon as she got dressed.

Ela weighed in at 8 lbs, 6 oz. She was 21 inches long. Once she was all clean and I was all stitched, we got to all hang out again together.

We took advantage of the time to call family and give them the good news. Ela stay in the nursery for her first night, and I stayed in the room next to the labor room due to a serious loss of blood pressure. Apparently, it's a bad thing when the nurses can't get a reading because your blood pressure is so low... They gave me IV fluids all night long, and by morning things were much much better. But more on that later...
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