My Birth Experience: Japan Vs. US

One more post about births, since I couldn't be more proud of my little girls.
Labor in Japan (Zack is indicating 5 cm dialated):


Labor in the US:


After the baby is born in Japan, we got to hold her for a second...

...and then she went with her Daddy to another room to be cleaned.


In the US (at least where we were), the baby was weighed, measured, and cleaned all right in the same room:


In Japan, security consisted of our name written on the baby's feet:


In the US, what the nurses called "Baby Lo-Jack":


My post-delivery room in Japan:


My post-delivery room in the US:

Draw your own conclusions. :-)

Lily's Birth Story

Warning: some of the following may be a little on the TMI side.  That's kind of the nature of birth stories.  Read at your own risk. :-)

I have to admit, my mood had been less than delightful for the last week or so before Lily was born.  I was feeling big and uncomfortable, I'd had tons of Braxton-Hicks contractions just regularly enough to get my hopes up and dropped repeatedly, and I was tired of being pregnant.  On Tuesday, I went to the doctor and the one I saw that day refused to even check me to see how far along I was.  (Granted, I didn't exactly beg, but I asked and she said no.)  Mom and Minjee were here waiting for Lily to be born, and with a little help from them and from Zack (who kept getting sent home from work early by people worried about me going into labor), we tried EVERYTHING to put me into labor. I really mean everything... within reason of course.  As of Tuesday bedtime, no luck.  Barely even a tremor on the contraction side. I was frustrated. 
I had to sit up with Ela once in the night, around 1:30, and nothing unusual was happening then.  At around 4:10, I woke up and rolled over, and felt a little burst of fluid.  Half a sleep, I wondered if that was my bladder or if I was in labor.  I moved a little more and more fluid resulted.  I got up and went to the bathroom.  Still lots of fluid.  At this point, even in my groggy state, I was pretty sure my water broke.  So I woke up Zack.  Zack hurried downstairs to wake Mom and Minjee and start getting things to the car while I packed up the last of the stuff I wanted to take to the hospital but couldn't pack in advance.   Mom stayed home with Ela, and Minjee came along.  By 4:30 we were out the door and I was noticing the first few contractions.
On the way to the hospital, I called in and warned them we were coming.  I was loosly tracking contractions and they were 5ish minutes apart.  We arrived at the hospital about 5:15, and hurried up to Labor and Delivery.  The doctor there said she'd check to make sure I broke my water.  When I laid down on the exam table, more fluid gushed out and she decided an exam was unneccessary.  Instead, I was hurried into a labor and delivery room. 
There were a lot of differences between this labor and my first in Japan, but the biggest was the confinement. In my head, I had hoped to be walking during labor until transition, but it simply wasn't in the books this time.  In Japan, they checked on Ela regularly, but I didn't have to wear the monitors constantly.  Lily, however, was making things difficult for the doctors.  Her heartbeat kept doing weird things (I really don't know if it was going way up or way down), so they wanted to keep an extra eye on her.  So I had to be on the monitors, in a bed. I was hooked up to a blood pressure cuff (which was set to go off at regular intervals), a pulse monitor for me, the two baby monitors, and an IV, which they were using to hurry antibiotic into me as a precaution because of one of the tests. Then they added oxygen because of the baby's heartrate thing.  Just to make it super crazy, I was listening to my music on an ipod, so there were earphone cords to contend with, too.  At first, this was super uncomfortable for me, but then I found out I could lie on one side, and things got much better.  The trouble was, Lily's heart kept right on doing it's funny stuff, and every time it dropped or spiked or whatever, the doctors had me switch sides, often mid contraction (not fun), and all those cords had to be contended with. 
So I labored, and they checked on me, I got through half my antibiotics, and was visited by lots of doctors.  The morning shift took over for the night shift and my normal doctor arrived.  It's all rather a blur for me.  At 7:00, they checked me and I was 7ish cm dialated.  Shortly thereafter, the contractions moved to my back and Zack (whose hand I was trying my best to break) learned the fine art of counterpressure.  He was awesome.   At 8:15, I had a contraction that felt, well, different.  It was the worst one yet, and also lower.  I felt like I should push, but no one had told me it was okay yet, so I just hurt.  The nurse who was monitoring me saw Lily's heartrate once again being weird, so she started trying to turn me over (so not fun) as the doctors rushed in.  My doctor took a look and I could tell they were getting ready before she even told me I could push.  My respose: YAY! 
With Ela I pushed for a whole hour, and I was not keen on repeating that ordeal.  I think part of my problem had been not knowing what to expect.  This time, the doctors were in a hurry, and I was glad to oblige.  I pushed with all my might, and 8 contractions and 15 minutes later, Lily emerged!
The story within the story is  Minjee, who got a full view of the birth.  She was apparently in awe.  After Lily was born, the doctor said we should have been taping the look on her face.  I caught one glance of it, and it was pretty amazing.  Her jaw was nearly on the floor.  I'm glad she had a chance to see it all.
Despite all the heart drama, Lily is healthy.  They cleaned her off a little while I got stitched up, and then she got her first chance to breastfeed (she picked it up no trouble at all).  I got breakfast, and Lily got the rest of her little testing stuff done.  Ela and Mom arrived, and Ela got to meet her new sister.  She was enthralled by the bath Lily got, but mostly just wanted to snuggle with me on the bed. 
We stayed in the hosptial for two days, and arrived home Friday around noon.  Now we're getting settled in here.  I'm recovering a whole lot faster this time around, which is a relief for all of us.   Ela is enjoying the little jobs of being a big sister.  She's great at bringing me things and at giving Lily kisses.  I think we're all adjusting quite well to the new addition to our family. 

Preparation and Imitation

This week, I have entered into the wonderful realm of "full term" pregnancy. Technically, my due date isn't for another three weeks, but if the baby came today, the doctors would be cool with that. All the little and big things we've been doing to get ready for baby have taken on a new importance now that we're in the "any day now" bit. I started packing my hospital bag, which is a slow and bothersome job for me since I need most of the stuff I'm supposed to be packing (any clothes that still fits is essential when you start growing out of maternity shirts), and I even bought infant diapers and washed some baby stuff in the detergent (most of it was washed before we packed it up).

Over the weekend, we visited the labor and delivery area in the hospital where I'm supposed to go when the time comes. It's in the same place as my usual appointments, but I had never seen the part where we'll actually go when the baby comes. This was important to me because last time I was in Japan, and I wanted to get the scoop on what to expect from an American hospital. I came out of the experience feeling very reassured. The labor and delivery rooms look quite comfortable, and the doctors and nurses are very accomodating of whatever the Moms want to do as far as pain management, from the sounds of it. The only down is I can't eat during labor this time, but that's really not that big of a deal. After the baby is born, I'll have to spend two days in a semi-private room (it looks like 2 to a room), but visitors are welcome (they have a lounge for larger groups), Zack can stay with me if he likes, and we can order whatever I want to eat from the time baby comes on, so it should be relatively comfortable. So that all looks good. The visit also reminded me to pack a bag for Ela, in case she needs to hang out at a friend's house for the first bit of my labor until family arrive. That bag is a bit easier to put together.

Speaking of Ela, she's really into the imagination play lately, and I've been enjoying the occasional surprise of hearing myself in her play. Her favorite game is putting her toys to bed, which kind of makes sense, given our efforts on that front with her. She covers them with blankets, says "night night" then tosses the blankets off and pulls the toy out, after which she says "go back to bed." very firmly or "Sleepy time!". Cracks me up. (She is actually sleeping much better, by the way. I usually don't have to get up with her any more.) She's cooking more in her kitchen, too. She likes to make me tea and cupcakes. Yum yum!

The other day while I was getting dressed, Ela sat in the rocking chair and "read" her books to herself. This, in itself, is not unusual, but I rarely get to hear what she says when she reads. I was really amazed at some of what she remembers from when I read to her. One of the books she chose she had only heard twice (once at the library and once at home), and she was imitating the librarian who had read it, counting things on the pages, and using the right words. I hadn't realized she'd even been paying attention when we were that library, so it was pretty amazing to me. The other book I heard was about pregnancy and baby in the belly. We read it a lot because Ela likes to lift the little flaps that show the baby in Mommy's belly. I didn't think she was getting the point of the book, just looking at the pictures, but she remembered all the rhyming words and was saying the right things on each page. It was quite impressive.

As a result of all this imitation play, I'm constantly trying to watch what I say and do in front of her. It's bad enough when I hear her yelling at Dory in my exact tone of voice, but I don't want her to pick up any worse behaviors from me if at all possible. So my kiddos are keeping me on my toes!

Spring Fever Meets Third Trimester

As the weather has gradually gotten warmer around here, Ela and I have been enjoying more and more chances to get outside and do, well, anything. We play in her sandbox, take her for rides on her tricycle (which she just sits on and I push), and we've even made it to the park once. Last weekend, I got really enthusiastic about the nice weather we'd been having and reorganized my clothes, winter out, summer in, which was quite a process since I keep it sorted by maternity (what I can wear now) and regular (what I hope to be wearing by mid-summer). I wanted to do Ela's drawers, too, but I didn't get that far. I'm glad about that now, though, since it's a bit colder again this week. She can keep on wearing her long sleeved stuff, and I just pull sweaters from my closet, where they live year round.
Not getting as far as I expect is kind of a common trend for me just now. Baby is getting quite bulky, and I wear out much faster than I used to. Since the last week or so was pretty busy, I'm purposefully taking it slow this week, mostly hanging out at home, but the weather was begging me to get out and do things, and the contrast between what I want to do and what I really can do gets frustrating at times. I've gone back to my habit of napping with Ela when I can, and I'm always amazed by just how deeply I sleep in the middle of the day.
Thankfully, Ela's night sleep is getting better and better. I still usually have to go in and comfort her about once a night, but there are occasional times when just calling when she cries is enough to convince her to go back to bed. This is especially good since it's getting harder and harder to sleep comfortably with the bulky belly. I don't take very kindly to being forced out of bed when I've finally gotten comfortable.
So we're adjusting to a slightly slower pace for the next few months. I'm learning what I can do without over extending myself, and Ela's getting used to doing a little more for herself. I'm enjoying watching her gain a little indepence. She's going to be a good little helper before we know it!

The To Do List

At Zack's family's house over Christmas, we talked a bit about New Year's Resolutions. I felt at the time like this was not a year for resolutions for me. With a new daughter (according to our recent ultrasound) coming in May, I've some changes coming my way, and it seems like a bad idea to set a whole bunch of new goals. Instead of resolutions, I have a to do list this year. The list is topped with preparations for the new baby, but there's also the usual clutter of things that keep slipping down to the bottom as new things pop up.
We started off the year right by letting Ela take a short vacation with the grandparents. Zack and I arrived in DC on our own, and we got straight to work rearranging. Our dining room table was a hand me down that has survived many generations of less-than-gentle use. It was time for a new one, so we bought one (and chairs to go with it, which are still on order), and put that up in our dining area. That was the easy check off the list.
Then there was the bigger task of rearranging for the baby. The room that used to be my office (which I never used because Ela would destroy it) is now Ela's room. We packed up the books, moved my desk out of there, and then moved her bed and a new dresser in, as well as a toy chest and enough stuffed animals to drown Dory. The room that used to be Ela's is now the nursery/reading room. It contains my desk, the baby's dresser, most of the kid's books a few of my books, and we'll move some toys up there for Ela to play with while I'm doing baby stuff up there. Mom brought Ela back up shortly after New Years, and brought lots of baby clothes to put into the dresser and the crib which we had been storing in her attic. She ran through the house like a whirlwind and cleaned things that haven't been cleaned since we arrived, packed up the stuff that we couldn't keep upstairs anymore, and now our house is under control.
So that's several major checks off my personal to do list for the time between now and May, but the list is still quite long.
Under the category "Things for Ela" I have a birthday party to plan (for March), and the hefty task of convincing her to sleep all night every night in her own room. We've been working on that for the last year with very limited success. As it currently stands, she naps in her own bed (or in her car seat), and goes to sleep in her own bed, but wakes up sometime in the middle of the night and joins us in our room where she thrashes and kicks and keeps us all awake for the rest of the night on a bad night, and only half the night on a good night. Clearly, we need to get her out of there sooner rather than later, but it's hard to see it that way when you're listening to her scream from her own room for hours at a time in the middle of the night. My goal is to push back the time that she enters our room a little each week until she sleeps all night in her own room. This is for my own training as much as hers. I can only spend so many hours taking her back to bed or listening to her pound on the door in one night before I lose my marbles. Beyond these tasks, I've got the usual daily or weekly tasks involving keeping her fed, clothed, healthy, learning, and so on. I'd like to sign her up for a dance or music or yoga class after she turns two (note I said "or" not "and"), but that will depend a great deal on how I'm feeling when the new kiddo arrives. So Ela alone could keep me very busy for the year.
Under the category "Things for The New Baby" I have a slightly smaller list. We need to assemble her crib, finish putting away her clothes, buy a double stroller (advice on this welcome), and pick a name (probably the most important on the list, right?). We seem to be having a little trouble agreeing on a name we both like, so that could take some time, but we've got time, so I'm not worried... yet. After May, the new baby's list will of course be growing signifcantly, but for now, it's managable.
Under the category "Things for Me," the list gets much more vague. I just want to be able to sleep once in awhile. I'd like to have time to write a little every day, too. And, of course, I want to continue to practice relatively healthy eating and exercise habits. The "Things for Me" on my to do list tend to get shuffled down to the bottom awfully fast, so I don't really focus on them much. This should probably change, but I feel pretty good about me right now, so I'm allowing my focus to stay elsewhere.
There's also a few things under the category, "Miscelaneous" but those tend to sort themselves out. These are the chores that make up my usual routine. Some adjusting will obviously be necessary after May, but I'm not really putting a lot of effort into sorting that out yet. I need to get to May first.
So we're starting the year with a push to the finish line with the baby stuff. We're very excited about our new arrival, and I'm sure the time will fly!

Good News

I've been trying for several days now to talk the ultrasound I scanned into a format that would post on the blog. No luck. I've scanned it twice, and still can't change it into anything workable. Instead, you'll just have to take my word for it that I'm pregnant and delighted! :-)
I'm about 11 weeks along now, and while I really am thrilled, it's been tough to be possitive lately because the morning sickness, which started around 7 or 8 weeks, has been terrible. I'm nauseous pretty much all the time. The ultrasound and clean bill of health from the last doctor appointment helped keep things in perspective. Baby is healthy, growing, and actually looks like a baby in the pictures, which is nice. All the same, the not being able to eat can get stressful. I worry because I'm losing weight still, and I really should start gaining sometime soon, but then the stress of it just makes it that much harder to eat.
Yesterday was a particularly bad day. Most days, I wake up feeling okay and get to feeling yucky around noon, then just get worse all evening. Yesterday, I woke up feeling terrible and had trouble eating breakfast, much less lunch or dinner. I struggled through a much-needed trip to the grocery store, and that was pretty much all I could handle all day. Zack had a long day, too, and was not exactly thrilled to come home to groceries still in the bags (don't worry, I put away the cold stuff), and nothing set up for dinner but rice (I knew he had leftovers available). He's very supportive, though, and we muddled through the evening.
As we got into bed, Zack suggested that may be I'd feel better tomorrow if I took Ela on a little outing to a park or something. This is a very good suggestion because 1) I get crabby really fast if I stay in the house too many days in a row and 2) exercise and fresh air have been helping with the morning sickness. I agreed with the suggestion and then pointed out that I had gotten out of the house that day.
Me: Granted, the grocery store isn't exactly a stress-free environment for me these days.
Zack: You talk about it like it's the sixth circle of hell or something.
I laughed.
Zack (imitating me): Oh Zack, it was so horrible! There was FOOD everywhere!
This got both of us going in a giggle fit (quietly so we wouldn't wake up Ela). It also reminded me that if the worst thing I have to complain about is that I have to buy food, I really have it pretty good. So having enjoyed a good laugh and a session of blessing counting, I went to bed in a much better mood.
Still not feeling great this morning, but it's so worth it!

What's in a name?

Ela is going through one of those wonderful phases where she's learning something new everyday... OK, she's always in one of those phases, but currently it's mostly language related. And since I recently finished a degree that focused in part on language development, it's my favorite part of her development to watch. It's so cool how kids learn! Also, it's cool that I have a blog where I can brag about it. :-)
Kiddo learns new words all the time. She's able to say her favorite foods, "Bro Bro" for broccoli, "Buu buu" for blueberrys and "Naaaaa" for banana. She points out things she sees every day "Dog" and "Dory", "Car" and "Dodo" for bird, though we still have no idea why. Way back months ago, I put a baby sign language app on my iPhone to keep her busy in occasional moments of desparation, and now she also signs lots of those things, which helps distinguish between words like "Ish" for Fish" and "Shh" for Shoes. It's remarkably cute (and I do realize that, as her mother, I would find it cute even if it really wasn't).
Even cuter, are the ways that she "talks" about what she sees. Yesterday we had visits from both a Plumber and an Air Conditioning guy. This caused Dory to bark incesantly for most of the afternoon. When I started to get annoyed, I'd shout "Dory!" By the end of the afternoon, Ela was telling me "Woof Woof" and then saying "Dory!" in the same tone that I'd shout. When we drive Zack to work, she repeats "Da DaDa!" all the way home in the same tone that we say "Bye Bye Dada!" when he left the car. She's starting to try to sing along with songs she hears regularly. When she wants me to sing the ABC's she sings "Ah Ah Ah Ah" like the begining of the song. She also does motions for the "hello" song we sing at story time and some of the Itsy Bitsy Spider song on occasion if she thinks no one will notice.
And did I mention how much she loves books? The child is addicted at least as much as me. She has her favorites, of course, and she's been turning to her favorite pages in her favorite books for awhile now. Now, she also says the titles when she brings me books. My favorites are "Go Go Go" which is her version of "Go Dogs! Go!" and "Ah Ah! Ah ah!" which is "Blue Hat Green Hat" (It's all in the tone, which matches how I read it.) The last time we ready "Mr. Brown Can Moo" she imitated almost all the sounds as we went through it. And her new thing is to read bits to herself. She'll turn to a page and say some of the words that are actually on it. It's so fun!
When we're not reading, we look at family pictures. She likes to look at herself, and I've been taking advantage of this to point out other people she knows, doing the signs of course. And it's starting to pay off now in words. She's trying to say names for everyone now, though she hasn't settled on what she'll call them all. Her Aunt Amanda is "AhAHah." Grandpa is "BaPa" and goes for both of them. Grandma hasn't settled into one thing, but it's getting there. Her Aunt Emily has become "Momomo". Aunt Minjee is "Mimi".
So every day, I'm enjoying listening to my daughter and seeing what will come out of her mouth next. And while conversation with a one year old is still not exactly intellectually stimulating, at least hearing what she's learning is very exciting.

Weekend of Fire(works) and Water

My have we had a busy week! The change of command was on Thursday, so the beginning of the week was absorbed by good bye/hello parties for the former CO and the new XO. Then it was suddenly the fourth of July. Elly has already grown out of the cute sailor dress she wore for Zack's arrival home, so she wore a cute onsie for all of five minutes before dirtying it up, leading to the use of this outfit for the rest of the day:

To celebrate, we took her to the big event at Nimitz park for dinner and then we watched the fireworks together.

Elly was really less interested in the colors in the sky than in the huge crowd of new faces to examine, but we pretend that she watched anyway. She did express mild interest in the really sparkly ones that I like. As soon as the fireworks stopped we hurried her home to bed.

Sunday was Ela's baptism. Most of the pictures are on someone else's camera, but here she is with her Daddy before the service:

After the church service, a bunch of our friends from Zack's ship came to see her be baptized in a small ceremony at the chapel, then we all went out for Sunday Brunch. It was a really nice ceremony, and it was nice to have a little celebration in Ela's honor afterwards.
Then, Sunday evening, Elly and I went to one more good bye party for the former CO's son. This one was at the pool, so we got to try out her swimsuit for the first time.

Again, we have more pictures on someone else's camera, but Elly and I did actually get in the water for a short time. I waited until she was sweaty from the heat of the room, then I got in the pool and let her stand on the edge (with a little help, obviously). Then I had her sit on the edge, and finally she came in with me. She took this dip better than her baptism, so I consider it a success. We got out when the other kids started splashing around a bit.

After that crazy busy weekend, Ela had a doctor's appointment on Monday. She has been deemed healthy. She's still way at the top of the height and weight arc, but her little data points are making a nice curve, so it's okay. She handled the vaccines a bit better this time. I suspect that this is because it was the same one as last time, and her immunity is, logically, higher. We're all very glad to have her all taken care of, spiritually and physically.

It starts...

Ela's been working on this for awhile... we finally got it on film:

The Forgotten Baby

This year, I almost forgot about Dory's birthday (She's six now). It isn't the first time she's been ignored on her birthday. She's spent two of them in kennels for various reasons. So it's not like I throw a party every year, but I still felt kind of bad. The day after, I went out and got her a present. Luckily, she's a dog, so she really didn't care a bit.
All in all, Dory has adapted well to the changes in her life that have resulted from Ela. She's loved Ela from the moment she came home, so that was good. Of course, there's still some confusion for her. Mostly, this has to do with the fact that Dory believes she should lay in the softest available spot, or in a lap. So if I set down a blanket and leave it for a few minutes before trying to get tummy time in with Ela, this is the result:

Note the toy sitting there. That's Dory's too. She thinks that anyone on the floor should be playing with her. She can't figure out why we spend time on the floor not throwing balls for her. She also tries to play with Ela.

She drops her toys near Ela's arms and waits, not so patiently, for Ela to pick them up. Eventually, she'll give up and just chew them, as pictured above.
Naptime is good for both of them, though. Dory totally understands that:

And I still occasionally get a picture of my older daughter being cute all by herself:

So we're getting along pretty well. :-)

Cinco de Mayo with ILC

While Dad was here visiting, it was the American's turn to host an ILC event. So I saved up a bunch of milk and boldly left the house without the baby! It was quite a big step for everyone involved since I had never been away from her for more than half an hour and she had never taken more than one or two ounces of milk in a bottle. All in all, though, it was a successful experience.
The theme the Americans chose for this event was Cinco de Mayo. It turned out to be a really fun theme to run with. First, we had a marachi group from the high school come to perform with us. I didn't get video, but they sounded great!

We also had a giant pinata that the ladies took turns banging away at. It was really fun to watch them, and they're all so supportive, the cheers every time someone made contact were also a lot of fun to listen to. However, when it finally broke, I guess they missed the part about running up to get the candy, so there was more cheering, but no mad rush for candy. We passed it out in a far more orderly manner after the fact...

The food was, of course, Mexican, and I took this picture because I was amazed that anyone would try to eat a taco with chopsticks, but there they are (sorry they're a bit hard to see). The woman eating from this plate was in a lovely kimono and I shudder to think about what salsa would do to it if it dripped...

Finally, we got a dance instructor to come teach us some salsa, chacha and tango moves. It was highly entertaining to watch the lovely ladies strutting their stuff on the dance floor!

So we all had a really great time. When I got home, Ela and her grandpa were out walking doing some shopping on the Ginza. She had milk to spare, and it sounded like their day was just as fun. We'll both be ready next time we get a chance to have a babysitter.

Golden Week Begins

Golden Week is a week of holidays in Japan, starting on April 29th. For the average Japanese person, it means a whole week of vacation. For the average American in Sasebo, it means lots of pottery sales. I've blogged before about the insane pottery sales in the area and how overwhelming all that pottery can be. This year, my dad was here to witness the insanity. So yesterday, armed with a stroller, diapers, wipes, and all the usual baby stuff, we set out to find some good deals on pretty things:

We walked through Arita for between four and five hours and didn't find the end of the shops, nor did we really pick through most of them. My find for the day was a cute fountain. The kind salesman went into great detail about how to put it together when I got home...

... of course he was speaking Japanese so... we'll see how that goes..

We worked out that we went about 3 and a half kilometers by the time our walk was done. Dad described it as Disney World of Pottery. I think that might catch the feeling of the thing. Ela was not in the best mood, but she did pretty good. I think she got tired of being in the carseat. So at the end, we put our purchases (which were many) in the stroller and I carried her. She liked this a lot better...

The Japanese people, who had been trying to see her in the stroller all day, liked it better, too. One of the salemen chatted with us and a few Japanese girls about her. He said she looked older than 2 months (his first guess was four months), and that she looked like her grandpa (which made us laugh).
When we got home, Ela worked off some steam by learning to roll over! She went from her tummy to her back... twice! Granted, she was on a chair so she had a little bit of incline to help her out, and she was not successful in repeating the achievement this morning, but she has the basic idea now, and I'm sure it's only a matter of time... Little girl is going to be mobile before we know it!

Hanami with ILC

The cherry blossoms are here again! They always kind of sneak up on me, like one minute the trees are all wintery and brown, then the next the whole world is full of blossoms flying around. That's what happened the last week or so. It's enough to make anyone want to spend some time outside, even if it's not really super warm yet.
To celebrate, ILC took us to Omura to a park to see the blossoms. Ela decided that eating was more important than walking in the cherry trees, but we did manage to see a little bit:


And of course, the Japanese ladies wanted to get in on the picture action:

Then we went to a very nice hotel for a very nice lunch. Another reason I love Japan: the staff there found out there were two infants (Ela and a 6 month old) in the group, and produced a crib for each of them:

So a good time was had by all, and in a few weeks, we get to do it again with OSC. In the mean time, I see a good bit of walking in our future...

Things I Like

Babies "need" a lot of stuff, or more accurately, Mom's need a lot of stuff to help them with babies. I agonized over the long list of things that people told me I HAD to have to help us with our new baby. One thing I'm really glad we got: the swing. It's one of the few places she'll sit that isn't on me. So I thought I'd upload a video of the swing just to see how the uploading video process works...

Ela's first OSC Outings

Back when I first arrived in Sasebo, my first ever OSC event was tomato picking on Oshima Island. I seriously considered not going because it was a really wet, nasty day. Upon arriving, I discovered the tomatos were in greenhouses and was very glad I had come along. They were, by the way, the very best tomatos EVER. So when the OSC invitation to go tomato picking came out this time, I knew I wanted to go, but wasn't sure I should with a child who wasn't yet two weeks old. It seemed like quite an undertaking. Luckily, Mom's here, and she said we should do it. Mom knows best! So we caravaned with a few other families out to Oshima Island and found the greenhouses on a much nicer day:

Mom picked the tomatos...

Ela and I looked for good ones to pick... okay, Ela didn't really look very hard...


After that, we all went for a nice lunch at a nearby hotel, then Mom and I struck out on our own for a park in the center of the island that turned out to have a lovely view from this lookout tower....

Ela slept through most of the trip and chose really convienent times to eat, so we deemed her first event a great success. The tomatos were again excellent. I'll be enjoying them for a few more days yet.

Then today OSC did a recycle shop trip. This one I really really wouldn't have done without Mom, but with her, it was a must. Recycle shopping, for those of you who don't know, is like thrift shopping in Japan. People donate the stuff they don't want anymore, and these shops sell the stuff. Only since this is stuff they would throw away otherwise, they call it recycling. You can get a lot of neat Japanese stuff for relatively good prices if you know where the recycle shops are. Today, we stopped by six of them, and found some nice things to add to our collections. We didn't, however, take pictures. Ela took the whole thing very well. She was awake for the first stop, then fell asleep and only woke up to be fed occasionally throughout the day. Another very successful event. So now when Mom goes home, hopefully I won't be too wussy to take Ela out on my own. It will be a lot more work, though...

Ela's Passport

One of the challenges of having a baby outside of the US is getting her citizenship made all nice and official. As military in Japan, the process goes something like this: First, the doctor gives you an application for the Japanese birth certificate (both in English and Japanese). You take that to city hall, along with your marriage certificate and passports, and they give you a Japanese birth certificate (in English and Japanese). You take that, along with several forms, passports, and two passport pictures of the baby to an office on base, where they mail it to the powers that be in Tokyo and get you a form aknowledging the birth of an American child in a foreign country.
Yes, that's right, we needed passport photos of a child who is only a week or two old. Without them, we can't get her passport or social security number, and it'll take several months after you get them taken to get the passport in question. So how do you get these pictures? When we started, we had no idea. All we knew were the requirements for the final product: Only Ela's head in the picture, no other people, a white background, and her eyes have to be open. Remember: Ela is one week old. She can't hold up her own head, much less sit, and her eyes are open 3 minutes in the average hour. So we had a challenge ahead of us.
At first, we thought we were required to use the photo booth on base that makes passport pictures. This was a total disaster. We went through the process twice, with me, covered in a blanket, holding a screaming Ela up to the right level and hoping her eyes would open for a second for the picture. The result is two sets of pictures of a screaming child and my chin. We decided we'd spent enough money on a lost cause and took these back to the office that sends the stuff to Tokyo. They said neither would work, but that we could use a digital camera at home and then cut the pictures to the right size. They even gave us a little passport photo template so we could measure it out... Note to the office: why wouldn't you give that to parents the first time around? :::sigh:::
The next 24ish hours were spent anxiously watching Ela for moments when her eyes were open, then quickly laying her on a white blanket and snapping lots and lots of pictures. The results ranged from funny to cute to crazy. One didn't even have Ela in it: she wiggled away or the camera moved, who knows. I know the point of digital is you can delete the ones you don't want, but who wouldn't want these:



Two big concerns gradually arose: 1) would the quilting on the one blanket make it not a "white background" and 2) would it be bad if her hands (which are always near her face) got in the picture. So we settled on this picture as our choice to submit:

Not the cutest one we took, but it passed the test when we took it in, and now it's on its way to Tokyo with the rest of the paperwork. Check that off the list! Now that it's done, I'm told she can use that same passport and picture until she's ten. Clearly the passport people have their priorties right here... or not...

On Epidurals

This post is dedicated to Danielle. :-) In a comment, she asked me about the whole not having an epidural thing. I gotta say I'm not sure I'm qualified to really comment, having no basis for comparison, but I'll throw some thoughts out there. I hesitate to do so because I've seen some really strong opinions in the articles I read during pregnancy, and I don't want anyone to think that I'm telling them the "right way" to do things. So, just remember if you're reading: this is just my opinion and you are, of course, entitled to disagree. :-)
One of the first moments of feeling overwhelmed I had with my pregnancy was reading about "choosing a doctor" in the baby books. From the start, I was really glad that this was not an option for me. As someone who generally takes a medical condition to the doctor and then does what the doctor says about it, the idea of forming a birth philosophy and then finding a doctor with the same birth philosophy was absolutely terrifying to me. How, exactly, was I supposed to know how I felt about things like pain medication, birthing positions, and what not until I had actually been in labor? I think what the books are really trying to say is don't just assume that any doctor is the right doctor for you, not "go in with a 100% idea of what you want and then find someone who will do it for you." But to start off, it was scary. So I was relieved that I just would have to live with Dr. Higashijima, who (by the way) turned out to be very much in agreement with what I would have wanted anyhow.
That was way back in month 1-2 of the pregnancy before I'd spent hours and hours reading pregnancy books, internet articles and birth stories (which seem to tend to be from really eccentric people if you search for them online). By the time I got to actual labor, I can't say that I knew for sure what I wanted, but I had a much better idea. And part of that idea was that I probably didn't want an epidural. Here's why (in order of importance):
1) I'm scared of needles. The idea of someone sticking a needle into my spine was about a million times scarier than labor pains (which I had never experienced but didn't involve needles). I recognized that this opinion could easily change, and if it did, I was willing to go the epidural route, but for the time being, that was it.
2) I had heard about as many epidural horror stories as stories about women who were happy with it. (I'm only counting first hand from women I knew stories, not the crazy people online.) These ranged from mild dissatisfaction (ie: "I couldn't feel and that made it harder to push") to serious issues (ie: "the needle was inserted wrong, I leaked spinal fluid and had a severe headache for several days afterwards as a result.") Why exactly, would I overcome my fear of needles for something that I might not especially like when the time came, either?
3) Dr. Higashijima's epidurals are not American epidurals. He calls them 70% strength. American women note that you can still walk with these Japanese epidurals and wonder if it might not be more like 50%. If someone's going to stick a needle in my spine, I want it to really make a difference in how much pain I'm feeling.
4) Drugs in general have always had really funky effects on me. Any medication that says "might cause drowsiness" is likely to knock me out cold. Because I know that medication reacts that way with me, I tend to avoid it when I can. It's easier sometimes to deal with pain than with the side effects of the medication.
In addition to these four reasons not to have an epidural, I'd read countless articles talking about the many reasons not to have one ranging from the effect it has on the baby to the fact that women who have epidurals tend to have longer labor. I didn't worry much about these because I'd also read countless articles about why an epidural is sometimes the better choice. So while I went into labor with a plan to not have an epidural, I was by no means against it if the situation required. If the doctor had said "Look, you're tired and you're not going to have any strength left to push, let me give you an epidural to help you rest now." I probably would have been okay with that. Similarly, if I had been in more pain earlier in the labor process, I totally would have gone the epidural route.
The nurses advised me that the best time to ask for the epidural is at 4-5 cm dilated. At that point in my labor, I was not in enough pain to feel justified in asking for an aspirin, much less a needle to the spine, so when the doctor asked me, I refused. He was delighted, since he prefers the more natural way of doing things by and large. He asked again several times over the course of my labor, but the first time I would have been tempted was during transition, and I knew that I wanted to be able to feel to push in hopes of making that part go more quickly. My thought was "it'll be over soon, I can make it a bit longer". So the result was that I didn't end up with one. If I were to do it all over again, I wouldn't change my choice in the slightest. Does labor hurt? Yes. But in my case, it didn't hurt so badly that I felt the need for medication.
That said, I also firmly believe that ever labor and every situation is different. Reading all the stuff online, I found that there are those out there who would make women feel guilty or weak for having medication. I am not one of those people. I'm sure some women have more pain during labor than I did. I'm also sure that there are situations where an epidural really is the best choice. Finding fault with the women who get them is just a bit crazy in my mind. I am glad that I made the choice I did, but may be next time I won't feel the same way. Who knows. I'm just glad that there are options out there so that women can get the best birth experience possible for them.

The Higashijima Experience

Having given birth in a private clinic in Japan, I'm convinced I will never be satisfied anywhere else. They totally spoil you. Even with the lack of room that first night, I felt like we had it really good. Our third morning in the clinic, the morning after Ela was born, was spent primarily outside the nursery looking at all the babies, since we couldn't bring Ela to our room until we had a real room. Aside from the five from the day before, and Ela, there was at least one more born in the early morning, so there was plenty to see:

They brought Ela out into the hall for us to hold her, and finally a room on that floor opened up and we moved in. This was one of the tiny rooms I mentioned in the previous post:

Ela and I stayed there for the next day. Mom hung out with us. We rested, ate, practiced feeding, and generally just relaxed. Zack came and went. He had a short time in Sasebo before he'd have to join his ship, so he was trying desparately to accomplish as much of the paperwork as possible to get Ela her passport and social security. The room was small, so it was better to have one visitor at a time anyway.
The next day, we spent the morning in that same room. That morning, I was given responsibility for tracking my health and Ela's. They had already given me a pink envelope with medicines for me to take daily, and now they also put me in charge of taking my temperature and Ela's 3 times a day, and writing down how often and how long she ate, as well as how many times a day she dirtied her diapers. The little chart was actually useful in helping me keept track of things as we got used to breastfeeding. Ela was a good eater from the start, but she's still hard to wake up if she wants to sleep through a meal.
I got another shampoo from the shampoo lady since it was Friday, and when I got back, the nurses were gathering our stuff to move us to the post-labor room that had become available. Whenever we switched rooms, the nurses insisted on carrying EVERYTHING (and we had a lot of stuff), not letting Mom or Zack so much as hold a pillow. So by afternoon on Friday, we were here:

The room was bigger, with a couch, chair and desk, so it was much more comfortable. AND I got a shower, which was a major relief. It's amazing what a simple thing like bathing can do for my perceptions of life. So Zack continued to run around with the various paperwork we needed, and Mom hung out with me and Ela in the room. More relaxation ensued.
But probably the best thing about staying at the clinic was the food. Every single meal came with enough dishes to feed me and one of my visitors easy. To make life easy on the cooking staff, I had told them that I was okay with Japanese food (if you request it, they'll give you American stuff, but who wants that?). The breakfast was generally a little too Japanese for me (whole bonito fish first thing in the morning is beyond my ability to stomach), but lunch and dinner were always excellent, and I got two snacks a day too... Here's a picture of my last dinner:



And, since it was my last night, they added one dish to what is normally served:

Yes, that really is lobster. Try getting that in an American hospital!

Anyway, since we were now in a bigger room, Zack stayed with Ela and me at the clinic Friday night, having successfully gotten everything done he could do before the Japanese Birth Certificate was ready. Saturday morning, they came to give Ela one last bath (this was a daily process). They also removed her umbilical stump and returned with a whole bunch of gifts for us: diapers, wipes, Ela's footprints that they had stamped, her umbilical stump (that's a Japanese thing, they hang onto it), a bib, some burp cloths, and a CD of her first cry! The doctor had taken some blood from me and found me to be waaaaay low on iron, so he gave me a shot of iron in the morning and sent me home with more vitamins and iron to take at home. He also showed us how to take care of Ela's belly button. Around 2 in the afternoon, after one last excellent lunch, we were ready to go. The nurses took the picture that I'm using as my profile picture until I load up a good one of all three of us. It'll hang on a special bulletin board in the clinic for awhile. Then the doctor and two of the nurses personally escorted us to the car, the nurses carrying all our stuff as usual:

The nurses helped us get out onto the road, and before we knew it, we were home and introducing Ela to Dory (who loved her from the start). It was seriously a really great stay.
So now we're home and adjusting to the new routine, which seems to change daily. We'll keep you posted with new pictures and stories!