The Battle of the Bed

This month, I'm declaring war on our sleeping situation... again. Pretty much all her life, Ela has been convinced that she should be allowed to sleep with Mommy and Daddy (primarily Mommy, since for the first year or so, Daddy was only around about half the time). When I was getting very little sleep and caring for an infant partially alone, I allowed this to preserve my own sanity. When we moved back to the US, we thought we'd try to get Ela into her own room. That's when the war broke out. She hated the crib, which lead us to using a toddler bed. That worked a little better, but she'd still prefer sleeping in a place with a warm body. We've had limited and occasional success getting her to sleep in there all night, but she goes through occasional clingy phases in which she manages to sneak back into our room more or less permanently at night.
This fall was one of those phases. The pattern became that she would go to bed in her own room between 8:00 and 9:00, then wake up in the middle of the night and want some company. She got to the point where she didn't even cry, she'd just crawl out of her bed, open her door (which is old and won't latch properly) and wander down the hall to our room. There, she'd climb into our bed and I, being half asleep, pregnant and exhausted, would just haul her in and let her sleep. Zack can sleep through anything, thanks to his navy training, so he generally wasn't aware of what was happening until later in the night.
The problem is that Ela likes to sleep horizontally on the bed, most of her body on or near our pillows, leaving very little room for Mommy's big belly or Daddy at all. Also, she kicks, and Daddy would like to keep all his teeth. So now I'm getting less sleep by letting her stay than if I'd make her sleep in her own bed. So we've moved her into her new room (making room for a crib in the nursery), and the new door actually stays shut, so the war is back on.
Of course, Ela takes it very personally that we insist she lay in her own bed. We traveled so much in January that she doesn't even like me sitting in a chair watching her fall asleep anymore, she wants me in the bed with her. She's starting to accept that bit, but Monday night she put up a really good fight about the middle of the night transfer. She woke up and began screaming at 2:00 am. I don't handle listening to her cry very well. My thought is, if I'm not going to be able to sleep, I should at least not be tortured by screaming child. So I called to her first, telling her it's still sleepy time and to go back to bed. This never works. I waited a little longer, then I wandered into her room, where I gave her a hug, and put her back in bed. This caused a temper tantrum. That bit doesn't last long, though. I sat down on the bed for a few minutes before moving to a chair where she can see me, and she settled down. Her goal is always to keep me in the room. She's learned to sleep so lightly that when I stand up, she hears me and begins the crying again. I sit, she gets quiet. I sat with her Monday until 3:15, at which point I kissed her head, closed the door, and went to bed to have my own temper tantrum. Zack took over getting Ela to sleep, and she did sleep for awhile, but by 4:00, she was in my bed.
Tuesday was not a fun day for me. I don't handle lack of sleep well, and I didn't have time for a nap.
But then last night, Ela was tired from keeping me up all night Monday. She passed out the first time around 9:30. At 12:40, I heard the crying. Same routine: tell her to go to bed, go in. This time, though, she was too tired for light sleep. She woke up a little when I stood up, but closed her eyes again immediately, and by 12:50 I was back in bed. I expected to hear from her again in the night, but she didn't come to see me until Zack was out of bed for the morning. It was beautiful!
So the score stands at Ela: 1 Mommy: 1. I'm bracing for another hard night tonight, but at least we made a little progress!